these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
