i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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