The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
