she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
