So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
