I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
