Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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