Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
