I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
