I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
