i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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