I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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