I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
