There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
