We won't sleep together?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize