You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
