what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
