If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Im part way to drunk.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
