you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
