Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
