Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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