yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize