That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
