Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize