She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
