I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize