Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
