i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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