We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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