He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize