dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Mom said you looked used
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
