Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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