The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
