you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
