We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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