think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm too high and old for this...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
