The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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