i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
