But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
