Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
