Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
