Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
