You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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