the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
