Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
