I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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