I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
