Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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