A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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