She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
