I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
