hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
