just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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