I accidentally burped into my bong.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
this will be a night to untag.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
