Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
