Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
