I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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