So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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