i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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