I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
