Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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