my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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